My most sought after feeling is joy. I have been making it a ritual every night to consciously invoke joyous thoughts and sensations throughtout my being before falling off to sleep. I rev myself up in the morning by visualizing the events of the day unfolding in a glorious manner. Increasing the delight of every waking moment is something I take pride in. Through my work with Reiki and other healing modalities, I hold the intention of co-creating with clients a sense of joy and well-being during sessions. Even the message on my voice mail reflects my commitment to augmenting positive feeling by requesting the caller to "please manifest some joy by leaving me a message" before disconnection from my place in the cosmos.
So, you can imagine my surprise when after my morning walk a few days ago, I burst into tears for no apparent reason. I don't recall feeling particularly troubled about anything and nothing specific brought this on. The tears, however, kept flowing and flowing. I sat in my rocking chair and imagined that I was being held in the arms of the Devine Mother. This actually caused the sobbing to increase. I suppose this was because I then allowed myself to feel comforted by the tears then resisting them. I wept for hours that seemed like an eternity. Then, gradually, the tears stopped falling. My breathing became very deep, full and slow, as if I were about to move into a restful slumber. However, instead of fatigue, I felt a sense of exhilaration light years beyond what I thought possible. I began to realize how much energy I had been expending in an attempt to hold only joy as my predominant vibration. I had an "aha!" that I can achieve a clearer and more delightful state of joy by allowing myself to experience without judgement a fuller spectrum of emotions. There really can be an element of sweetness in grief when it is allowed to surface and release in its own timing.
By nature of being human, I believe joy is our predominant vibration. Yet, we don't need to eclipse or control other feelings in order to invoke it. The joy is there all on its own.